Going Gluten Free...Again

A couple of months into my pregnancy I realized that gluten containing foods did not make me nauseated after eating.  Forget what they were doing to the rest of my body.  At that time I was so sick most of the time, I would cry myself to sleep because I didn't want to wake up to another day feeling like that.  Since I don't have Celiacs, I don't suffer quite so badly when I do eat gluten.  I was willing to suffer the physical pain and bloating, skin conditions, and brain fog just to eat without repercussions.

6 months postpartum and I'm still eating gluten.  It's been a year now.  I gained far too much weight during my pregnancy, my mom thinks mainly due to my gluten consumption.  And the weight is hardly coming off.  I haven't even lost the weight I put on postpartum due to Zoloft, which I only took for about 6 weeks anyway.  But beyond the weight, I am in constant physical pain.  I hurt all over and severly in some places.  If I go for an average walk, or do average household chores, or run errands I can barely move I'm in so much pain.  I don't use ibuprofin unless necessary for two reasons, it increases blood pressure (I've had pre-hypertention since mid-pregnancy), and it masks the cause by covering the symptoms.  I think my phyisical pain is gluten related.

So, how hard is it to go gluten free when I'd been gluten free for 5 years?  Very hard.  I'd forgotten how good all those foods tasted and what great texture they had.  I'd forgotten how easy it is to get soluble fiber from super whole wheat.  Or how easy it is to not have to question every single thing I eat.  Or how nice it is to be able to eat other people's cooking.  Thanks to pregnancy and then poverty I didn't really take advantage of being able to eat at restaurants.  But that's probably for the best.

I did admit recently that I can no longer eat oats.  It's possible I may have to go grain free.  I certainly know that grain free/sugar free is the best way to lose weight.

The bottom line is I've got to feel better.  My baby is growing at an alarming rate and I can barely keep up with her now.  I can't imagine what it'll be like when she's crawling fast or walking.  And I need to be able to do things with her.  I've also been stuck in a depression since pregnancy that I need to be able to shake and I know gluten has a direct correlation.  I also know depression and physical pain are related.  The gluten has got to go.

Losing The Baby Weight, Part 1, 0-6 months Postpartum

6 years ago, at age 28, I lost enough weight that I weighed less than I have since 7th grade. I felt good about myself and was more physically active because it was easier to move. At that time I was eating a mostly grain-free, sugar-free diet. And yet, even with a restricted diet, calorie restriction, and regular exercise, I was never able to get slimmer than 191 lbs.

After 2 years of being able to maintain my weight loss, I began slowly putting the weight back on. It seemed like no matter what I tried the scale kept going up. Finally at the beginning of 2011, at around 250 lbs, I had to do something. I managed to lose 17 lbs, at the rate of 1 lb per week, and then I got pregnant. I gained 60 lbs during pregnancy, but lost 20 with the birth. Then PPD hit, and I went on Zoloft. I gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks! My hypertension returned.  In the several weeks following I slowly lowered my average daily calorie intake to 2,250 and started exercising moderately, I didn't lose any weight, I actually gained a little more.

I decided to get off Zoloft. The only real cure for high blood pressure is weight loss, and this was just not possible on Zoloft. It also was not the magic pill I was hoping it would be. Honestly, for anxiety I prefer SAM-e, and it has the added benefit of supporting my joints. I'll never really know if the Zoloft helped that much, if it was time, or fish oil, or forcing myself to get active again and eat better. To be honest it was the Zoloft that was making me too tired to exercise, and want to eat so badly.

But even once I got off of Zoloft I still couldn't lose any weight. Until the week I ran out of Oatmeal. For years I've known that gluten causes me to bloat, probably a histamine reaction. This does two things, my joints ache all over making it painful to move, and I want to eat more and more gluten-a common reaction to a food allergy. I've suspected Oatmeal did the same thing, yes, even gluten free oatmeal. Well I was right. I lost 8 lbs that week, and another 1.5 lbs the week following.

My first goal is to get back to the weight I was when I left the hospital the second time. I am 1.5 lbs away from that goal.  My second goal is to get back to the weight I was before I became pregnant.

Since I have long studied weight loss I know the two biggest misconceptions about weight loss and I will share them with you.  Exercise does not help you lose weight.  It actually makes you hungrier.  But exercise is important to be healthy and strong.  Secondly, it's not how much you eat, it's what you eat and how often.  Since fat stores get used when we go for long periods without an insulin response, you will lose weight going for long stretches without eating (like at night when you sleep) or if you eat foods that don't spike insulin such as protein and non-starchy vegetables.  The reason why calorie restriction works is because it keeps you from eating too much of the foods that keep you from losing weight.  You can read all about this in Gary Taubes Why We Get Fat.

How long before my wedding ring fits again? And other marriage musings.

5 months postpartum and my ring still doesn't fit.

I know when I was this weight during my pregnancy I still had my ring on, so why won't it fit now? Simple answer, My body has changed. Read Gary Taubes book Why We Get Fat and you'll understand how our hormones, largely determined by our genetic makeup determines where on our body we store fat. It's the reason why some of us are Apples and others are Pears. But pregnancy is a whole new can of hormones and maybe we gain weight in new places now, oh joy. More on that topic another time.

My wedding ring means something to me. It is a connection to my commitment to my husband and a large symbol to the world that I am married. It is the only symbol I bought into in regards to getting married. That, and a hotel room for our wedding night.

If you haven't yet figured out that a new baby puts a huge strain on your relationship, you probably will soon. Pregnancy kicked my husband out of our bed and he has yet to return, sleep is too precious a commodity for both of us. And why not have separate beds? According to sleep studies 25 percent of all couples (in the study) slept in separate bedrooms for better sleep.  Although I did recently read another study that suggests men sleep better with a partner. But, what about the partner?

Probably the biggest issue with a new baby is how to take care of/raise the baby. Luckily my husband and I don't really have a problem with this. He's concerned that I'll be too protective and I'm concerned he won't be protective enough so it balances out. That, and as he puts it "I'm letting you drive on this one." So if it's a question on what to do, I get to answer. And a few of the many books I've read about parenting suggest to choose which one of you will be the caregiver and always defer to that person. This saves a lot of arguing.

But I've seen other new parents, who never really talked it out, go to battles about every little detail.  Or worse, they silently seethe (I'm guilty of this one). This can destroy a family. All that hostility spills out into every aspect of life. And before too long the love is gone. So many people who get married for love neglect to consider how good of a parent their future spouse may be, or if their parenting styles are similar. First and foremost to know prior to marriage is if your spouse even wants (seriously) children.

My husband and I got married to have children. We talked about it at great length what kind of parents we would be, how many we might want, how we would handle certain situations, but of course now we make it up as we go along.  Most of the time it works, except when it doesn't.  My biggest complaint is that I wish he would take a more active role in caring for our child, rather than being asked.  His biggest complaint is that I need to ask for what I want him to do and not just get upset with him when he doesn't do it.  It can be very frustrating.

Our baby comes first for both of us, but we are Partners. So when will the symbol of my partnership, my ring, fit? I can't wait, and that impatience reminds me of how much I love my husband.