I have suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've tried many natural alternatives and supplements to alleviate my symptoms with moderate success. But during pregnancy I discontinued their use due to a lack of research on safety. And then I got pregnancy induced hypertension. Hypertension or high blood pressure and anxiety are like the chicken and the egg, which came first? I was incredibly stressed out and high strung during my pregnancy. I had lots of irrational thoughts, some of them were rational but hyped up to the extreme. I couldn't wait to have this baby just so I could feel better.
Guess what? I didn't feel better. I felt worse. Aside from developing Postpartum Preeclampsia, even now almost 6 months postpartum I still have prehypertension. And I'm still dealing with broken sleep. I was so worried about the baby and every little thing, I couldn't relax. I didn't sleep well, when I did get to sleep, and I would have nightmares. I cried multiple times a day. And to top it all off, we were thrown off our farm (the family farm that was for life) with no means for income and all our savings sunk into that business.
Postpartum depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it is a real medical condition. Your body is working hard to get itself back to "normal." Your hormones are haywire, you aren't getting enough sleep, and your sleep cycles are broken, you aren't eating properly, you aren't getting out of the house as much, and you are probably freaking out about what to do with this little person. It is stressful! But, postpartum depression doesn't always strike right away. It can take months before you may have any symptoms. A friends doctor told her it could take up to 2 years before her body is back to normal.
When my symptoms lasted more than the first two weeks after birth, I decided to go to a postpartum specialist. She prescribed me an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), appointments to monitor my progress, and I was on my way. I soon found out that SSRIs weren't the magic pill I wanted them to be. While my anxiety was tamed for about 3 weeks, I had a slew of side effects that almost cancelled out the benefits. So when my anxiety returned I decided to taper off the SSRI, under my nurse practitioners supervision. I remembered about my old tried and true supplements.
I've been back to the supplements now for over a month and while they help, I'm still having anxiety and depression problems partly due to my new lifestyle of staying at home with the baby. But the other day I bought facial tissues for the first time in months because I'm not crying much anymore. It felt like a victory.
I realized that I neglected to differentiate between Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Psychosis. The former is what I and many women suffer from after giving birth for a variety of reasons but typically related to hormone changes and what I call new baby isolation. Postpartum Psychosis presents a very serious situation where the person suffering may want to hurt herself and/or her baby AND this seems like a logical or reasonable solution. Please get help. You can visit Postpartum Support International to find help near you.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Terrified of SIDS
I cannot imagine what it is like for a parent to lose their baby. But to lose a baby suddenly, without known cause, this fear envelopes nearly all my parenting choices. I can't count how many times I've had to check to make sure she's still
breathing or hasn't pulled her blanket over her face, rolled over to her
tummy, or some other risk factor that requires I rush in quietly to fix.
I've read a lot about risk factors and how to reduce the risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS. What the main cause seems to really boil down to is lack of oxygen and sleeping too deeply. Babies sleeping on their tummies, pulling blankets over their face, burrowing into pillows, soft mattresses, or bumper pads, and being too warm are all risk factors. But there is one other probable factor and that is simply failure to thrive.
Just when I think I've got all the risk factors under control I learn about a new one. Last night for no apparent reason she was sweating. She felt clammy. I took her temperature. A little up but nothing for alarm. And then I did a little internet research. Big mistake. What do I find? Sweating is a risk factor for SIDS, because sweating can indicate a heart problem.
These articles are never indepth enough. So it meant a light sleep for me last night as I worried my baby might not wake up. When in all reality she was probably just hot. She did just get a possible heat rash on her belly the other day.
Bottom line, some things we can't control. Do all that you can to reduce the chance of SIDS. And then stop worrying. Easier said than done.
I've read a lot about risk factors and how to reduce the risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS. What the main cause seems to really boil down to is lack of oxygen and sleeping too deeply. Babies sleeping on their tummies, pulling blankets over their face, burrowing into pillows, soft mattresses, or bumper pads, and being too warm are all risk factors. But there is one other probable factor and that is simply failure to thrive.
Just when I think I've got all the risk factors under control I learn about a new one. Last night for no apparent reason she was sweating. She felt clammy. I took her temperature. A little up but nothing for alarm. And then I did a little internet research. Big mistake. What do I find? Sweating is a risk factor for SIDS, because sweating can indicate a heart problem.
These articles are never indepth enough. So it meant a light sleep for me last night as I worried my baby might not wake up. When in all reality she was probably just hot. She did just get a possible heat rash on her belly the other day.
Bottom line, some things we can't control. Do all that you can to reduce the chance of SIDS. And then stop worrying. Easier said than done.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Battling a Yeast Diaper Rash
Yeast. We all have it and it floats around the atmosphere naturally. But when it gets out of control you have an itchy burning mess. Left untreated a yeast diaper rash can cause the skin to break, but also a full on infection that requires antibiotics. Plus a super unhappy baby.
Yeast thrives in a warm, moist environment. Hello diapers. Two easy steps to preventing or lesson the severity of the dreaded yeast beast are exposed skin, and cleanliness. This is why naked time is good, for drying and cooling. Just lay a towel under baby and make sure baby is warm enough. Secondly, keep the infected area clean. Gently rinse or wipe after every change, and bathe the area after every bowel movement. Avoid some wet wipes, particularly with alcohol or "fragrance," that may irritate the area or feed the yeast. When in doubt, just rinse your wipes in warm water.
How did it get out of control? Well, four things happened at the same time, it could have been any one or the combo of all, or it could have been a fifth unknown. We got a new bag of the same kind of diaper detergent we've been using, but the texture looked different, the formulation may have changed, and this one had lavender and mint added. Then, Daddy did diaper laundry and used twice as much detergent as normal. She started solids, a new food every 3 days. Carrots, White Potatoes, no problem. But by Peas she started to break out a little, Pears (store bought with Citric Acid-may have an allergy or intolerance) we had a full on rash, by Sweet Potatoes it was diarrhea city. So until she clears up, no more solids. Finally, her two bottom teeth broke through, I'm not sure how this plays into it.
Here are the remedies I long researched and our experience:
Apple Cider Vinegar or Grapefruit Seed Extract (NOT Grape seed Extract) Wipes: We tried the first, it is 1 part ACV to 10 parts water. It seemed to help, but we had to move on with treatments after 2 days, although I am still using it on wipes at changes because I do see a difference. GSE is 10-15 drops per cup of water. You dip your cloths into the solution to cleanse the area when changing a diaper. Make sure to let the skin dry thoroughly before applying any ointment or oil.
Tea Tree Oil: 5 drops to 1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil or another skin oil. This definitely helped soothe baby, but she would cry when she urinated. She would look better in the morning, but worse again by bedtime.
Coconut Oil: Unrefined, cold expeller-pressed, great for the skin and has natural anti-fungal properties. I'm sorry I didn't try it. I'm getting a tub since it's safe to use with cloth diapers.
Update: I've got a tub and now we're using this with her reusables because the disposables are now giving her a rash. Also, I can tell better when she needs to be changed with her cloth diapers
Day Two: The Coconut oil finished the job in 1-2 days. We continued the ACV wipes after every change. She looks almost back to normal. And I'm so glad to have her back in cloth.
Probiotics: Natural "good" bacteria, found in yogurt and other fermented foods, can suppress the "bad" bacteria and support a healthy immune system. While her formula claims to have probiotics in it, buying a baby powder and adding it in to food would have been a good idea.
4 Layer Treatment (suggested by pediatrician): Neosporin Plus, Hydrocortisone 1 percent, Lotrimin AF, Desitin: After 3 days of rash battle, I called the Dr. and she suggested this combo, but to call back in 3 more days if no change. And of course discontinue and call back if condition worsens. I bought the generic forms of the first 3 creams, and used Bordeaux's Butt Paste instead of Desitin, both are Zinc Oxide. We also began using disposables with all these creams. And I will have to disinfect and strip all of our reusables in the interim.
Day One: After a few changes I saw a difference, but by the morning it looked just as bad as ever, no worse. We are wiping with every change and washing the booty after a bowel movement. And I'm trying my best to get her right after she goes, luckily she makes a sound when she pees as well as poops.
Day Two: Looks like we're under control. I began wiping her with the ACV wipes and air drying before applying ointment. While the yeast beast spread all the way up to the top of her butt crack, it is dying. The pimply spots are gone-there is no rough texture except at the top of her butt. I may treat that area one day longer than the rest.
Day Three: So, I had daddy do the nighttime change...big mistake. While it did not come back badly, she had the worst time getting to sleep and was a bit broken out by this morning. Why don't daddies follow directions? These came from the Pediatrician, not me. I had planned on discontinuing treatment at the end of day 3, now...?
Day Four: Almost completely gone, except there is an outline of where it used to be. There are still some rough patches in the back. And her outer lips still seem swollen, hopefully this does not mean she has a vaginal yeast infection.
Day Five: Still rough in the back, red and slightly swollen in the front, but it looks like it's mostly cleared up.
Day Six: Same as Day Five.
Day Seven: Although the redness and swelling of her outer lips is gone, she now has a different rash on her belly and legs from the disposable diapers. I discontinued disposables and thus the 4 layer creams. We're back to reusables and now coconut oil, still using the ACV wipes between changes. Hopefully this finishes the job.
Disinfecting and Stripping Diapers: The disinfecting part sounds easy. Yeast is killed at 140 degrees Fahrenheit, but I found no evidence that the dryer is sufficient. So I put her clean diapers, not covers, in a pot of water on the stove and voila! To strip them of oils I added some Dawn dish soap to the water. After a hot water/soap on the stove, we drain, and put them all in the wash with no detergent for some rinsing. For the covers I just threw them into the machine for that final wash. Then, make sure they don't still smell like Dawn, or wash/rinse them again no soap, before immediately drying them-no time for bacteria.
We have hard water. The founder of Rockin' Green detergent says that Borax should not be used with hard water, it binds to the calcium and magnesium in the water and creates a residue. She says you should use twice as much detergent because 1/2 will go towards neutralizing the minerals, unless you use a water softener like Calgon. But we found that too much detergent is irritating to our baby's skin. We were using about 3 Tablespoons per load, I've cut that down to 1 + Tablespoon. We always do a rinse cycle first to get out the worst before we wash.
I think from now on I'll be dedicating one day a month to sanitizing diapers.
Yeast thrives in a warm, moist environment. Hello diapers. Two easy steps to preventing or lesson the severity of the dreaded yeast beast are exposed skin, and cleanliness. This is why naked time is good, for drying and cooling. Just lay a towel under baby and make sure baby is warm enough. Secondly, keep the infected area clean. Gently rinse or wipe after every change, and bathe the area after every bowel movement. Avoid some wet wipes, particularly with alcohol or "fragrance," that may irritate the area or feed the yeast. When in doubt, just rinse your wipes in warm water.
How did it get out of control? Well, four things happened at the same time, it could have been any one or the combo of all, or it could have been a fifth unknown. We got a new bag of the same kind of diaper detergent we've been using, but the texture looked different, the formulation may have changed, and this one had lavender and mint added. Then, Daddy did diaper laundry and used twice as much detergent as normal. She started solids, a new food every 3 days. Carrots, White Potatoes, no problem. But by Peas she started to break out a little, Pears (store bought with Citric Acid-may have an allergy or intolerance) we had a full on rash, by Sweet Potatoes it was diarrhea city. So until she clears up, no more solids. Finally, her two bottom teeth broke through, I'm not sure how this plays into it.
Here are the remedies I long researched and our experience:
Apple Cider Vinegar or Grapefruit Seed Extract (NOT Grape seed Extract) Wipes: We tried the first, it is 1 part ACV to 10 parts water. It seemed to help, but we had to move on with treatments after 2 days, although I am still using it on wipes at changes because I do see a difference. GSE is 10-15 drops per cup of water. You dip your cloths into the solution to cleanse the area when changing a diaper. Make sure to let the skin dry thoroughly before applying any ointment or oil.
Tea Tree Oil: 5 drops to 1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil or another skin oil. This definitely helped soothe baby, but she would cry when she urinated. She would look better in the morning, but worse again by bedtime.
Coconut Oil: Unrefined, cold expeller-pressed, great for the skin and has natural anti-fungal properties. I'm sorry I didn't try it. I'm getting a tub since it's safe to use with cloth diapers.
Update: I've got a tub and now we're using this with her reusables because the disposables are now giving her a rash. Also, I can tell better when she needs to be changed with her cloth diapers
Day Two: The Coconut oil finished the job in 1-2 days. We continued the ACV wipes after every change. She looks almost back to normal. And I'm so glad to have her back in cloth.
Probiotics: Natural "good" bacteria, found in yogurt and other fermented foods, can suppress the "bad" bacteria and support a healthy immune system. While her formula claims to have probiotics in it, buying a baby powder and adding it in to food would have been a good idea.
4 Layer Treatment (suggested by pediatrician): Neosporin Plus, Hydrocortisone 1 percent, Lotrimin AF, Desitin: After 3 days of rash battle, I called the Dr. and she suggested this combo, but to call back in 3 more days if no change. And of course discontinue and call back if condition worsens. I bought the generic forms of the first 3 creams, and used Bordeaux's Butt Paste instead of Desitin, both are Zinc Oxide. We also began using disposables with all these creams. And I will have to disinfect and strip all of our reusables in the interim.
Day One: After a few changes I saw a difference, but by the morning it looked just as bad as ever, no worse. We are wiping with every change and washing the booty after a bowel movement. And I'm trying my best to get her right after she goes, luckily she makes a sound when she pees as well as poops.
Day Two: Looks like we're under control. I began wiping her with the ACV wipes and air drying before applying ointment. While the yeast beast spread all the way up to the top of her butt crack, it is dying. The pimply spots are gone-there is no rough texture except at the top of her butt. I may treat that area one day longer than the rest.
Day Three: So, I had daddy do the nighttime change...big mistake. While it did not come back badly, she had the worst time getting to sleep and was a bit broken out by this morning. Why don't daddies follow directions? These came from the Pediatrician, not me. I had planned on discontinuing treatment at the end of day 3, now...?
Day Four: Almost completely gone, except there is an outline of where it used to be. There are still some rough patches in the back. And her outer lips still seem swollen, hopefully this does not mean she has a vaginal yeast infection.
Day Five: Still rough in the back, red and slightly swollen in the front, but it looks like it's mostly cleared up.
Day Six: Same as Day Five.
Day Seven: Although the redness and swelling of her outer lips is gone, she now has a different rash on her belly and legs from the disposable diapers. I discontinued disposables and thus the 4 layer creams. We're back to reusables and now coconut oil, still using the ACV wipes between changes. Hopefully this finishes the job.
Disinfecting and Stripping Diapers: The disinfecting part sounds easy. Yeast is killed at 140 degrees Fahrenheit, but I found no evidence that the dryer is sufficient. So I put her clean diapers, not covers, in a pot of water on the stove and voila! To strip them of oils I added some Dawn dish soap to the water. After a hot water/soap on the stove, we drain, and put them all in the wash with no detergent for some rinsing. For the covers I just threw them into the machine for that final wash. Then, make sure they don't still smell like Dawn, or wash/rinse them again no soap, before immediately drying them-no time for bacteria.
We have hard water. The founder of Rockin' Green detergent says that Borax should not be used with hard water, it binds to the calcium and magnesium in the water and creates a residue. She says you should use twice as much detergent because 1/2 will go towards neutralizing the minerals, unless you use a water softener like Calgon. But we found that too much detergent is irritating to our baby's skin. We were using about 3 Tablespoons per load, I've cut that down to 1 + Tablespoon. We always do a rinse cycle first to get out the worst before we wash.
I think from now on I'll be dedicating one day a month to sanitizing diapers.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Ugh! Daddies...am I right?
My poor husband. He tries so hard and often fails so miserably.
Like most daddies, he's the "fun" one. Her eyes follow him around the room waiting for him to do something funny to make her laugh. When she sees any man (with a beard) her mouth opens in a half grin ready for the funny. But, when she is tired or needs comfort she will scream her head off with him, craning her neck to try to find and look at me with pathetic eyes as if to say "why won't you do something." So, I take her and calm her down and daddy feels bad that he can't do the same.
Daddy goes to work. Mommy stays home with the baby and the house. When Daddy comes home Mommy often still doesn't get a break. And after having to stay up late and get up so very early, I was t.i.r.e.d. Can Daddy please do this last diaper change of the day? I should mention our baby has had a yeast rash and we have to layer 4 different ointments on her butt at every change. Daddy's method: mix all four together and smear at the same time. Result: an unhappy baby that won't go to sleep for the next 3-4 hours. A Mommy who is also crying because she is so tired. A Daddy that feels like a jerk because he can't put her to bed, and then forgets to set his own alarm and is 3 hours late for work. And a rash that looks worse in the morning.
I should know better. Against my own better judgment I had Daddy change the last diaper. Against my own experience I had Daddy try to put the baby to bed. This always results in me getting back up to soothe my now incredibly frustrated baby and husband. I just want to go to sleep! Unlike both my baby and husband, I can't nap during the day.
Last night it was the Thunderstorms that kept her awake. For 2 1/2 hours my baby would not stay asleep. I was up every 12 minutes, during that time, to fix whatever was the problem, including an extra night feed. We both were in tears. And yet, she's up again so early in the morning. As I finish this post my husband is snoozing on the sofa next to me, and he got to go to bed at the time I wanted.
So tonight, he's got the night shift. And I will try my best not to come out of my bedroom because she is wailing. We'll see.
Like most daddies, he's the "fun" one. Her eyes follow him around the room waiting for him to do something funny to make her laugh. When she sees any man (with a beard) her mouth opens in a half grin ready for the funny. But, when she is tired or needs comfort she will scream her head off with him, craning her neck to try to find and look at me with pathetic eyes as if to say "why won't you do something." So, I take her and calm her down and daddy feels bad that he can't do the same.
Daddy goes to work. Mommy stays home with the baby and the house. When Daddy comes home Mommy often still doesn't get a break. And after having to stay up late and get up so very early, I was t.i.r.e.d. Can Daddy please do this last diaper change of the day? I should mention our baby has had a yeast rash and we have to layer 4 different ointments on her butt at every change. Daddy's method: mix all four together and smear at the same time. Result: an unhappy baby that won't go to sleep for the next 3-4 hours. A Mommy who is also crying because she is so tired. A Daddy that feels like a jerk because he can't put her to bed, and then forgets to set his own alarm and is 3 hours late for work. And a rash that looks worse in the morning.
I should know better. Against my own better judgment I had Daddy change the last diaper. Against my own experience I had Daddy try to put the baby to bed. This always results in me getting back up to soothe my now incredibly frustrated baby and husband. I just want to go to sleep! Unlike both my baby and husband, I can't nap during the day.
Last night it was the Thunderstorms that kept her awake. For 2 1/2 hours my baby would not stay asleep. I was up every 12 minutes, during that time, to fix whatever was the problem, including an extra night feed. We both were in tears. And yet, she's up again so early in the morning. As I finish this post my husband is snoozing on the sofa next to me, and he got to go to bed at the time I wanted.
So tonight, he's got the night shift. And I will try my best not to come out of my bedroom because she is wailing. We'll see.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
I physically couldn't Breastfeed, it truly happens so don't judge!
5 1/2 months out and I'm still deeply saddened by my inability to breastfeed my baby. I physically didn't make milk. I never got engorged. I never leaked milk. There was no pain in "drying up."
For 8 weeks, I double pumped 8-12 times a day producing an average of 22 ml a day, less than 1 ounce. In addition to that I nursed 6-8 times a day, usually only 5 minutes a side because she wasn't getting any milk and would get frustrated. My whole day was to attempt to nurse, bottle feed, double pump, clean up, repeat. I barely had anytime to do anything including sleep and eat. I feel like I missed the first 8 weeks of her life. But I knew that if I didn't try I would always feel badly about that. The problem is I still feel badly. I still wonder-if I had just tried for 1 more week.
While my situation is a little muddled because of having Postpartum Preeclampsia, I still don't think I was ever going to produce milk. I so wanted the best for my baby. For her to eat real food and not junk food. I have no idea how this will affect her health and well being. But she's alive and she's growing. Every day I think about how I missed out on this precious experience. I know breast feeding is hard, but it's also incredibly easy, and good for the baby and you.
If I could breast feed, we'd never have to buy formula. I wouldn't have to daily wash bottles, sterilize water, pack bottles to go. Have a sticky mess on my counter from spilled powder. I could just pick her up to feed her instead of listening to her cry while I fix a bottle. It truly would be a time and money saver.
However...I would have to deal with a more restricted diet, being crazy hungry all the time, sore nipples, gumming and biting, the struggle of latching and re-latching in crazy holds, feeding more frequently, and the dreaded thrush, and plugged ducts (which I've had).
But, the worst part of all is when people ask and I tell them "I physically couldn't breast feed." They honestly tell me, not in so many words, "Maybe you didn't try hard enough." Are you F*ing kidding me? Insult to Injury indeed! Please let's not shame a mother for her choice, or sometimes what isn't her choice. I can feel envious of other mothers who choose not to breast feed, I wish I'd had that luxury. But I never berate them for not breastfeeding. And to be perfectly honest, it's none of my business. Just as it's not the business of anyone else to pass judgement on me for formula feeding.
For 8 weeks, I double pumped 8-12 times a day producing an average of 22 ml a day, less than 1 ounce. In addition to that I nursed 6-8 times a day, usually only 5 minutes a side because she wasn't getting any milk and would get frustrated. My whole day was to attempt to nurse, bottle feed, double pump, clean up, repeat. I barely had anytime to do anything including sleep and eat. I feel like I missed the first 8 weeks of her life. But I knew that if I didn't try I would always feel badly about that. The problem is I still feel badly. I still wonder-if I had just tried for 1 more week.
While my situation is a little muddled because of having Postpartum Preeclampsia, I still don't think I was ever going to produce milk. I so wanted the best for my baby. For her to eat real food and not junk food. I have no idea how this will affect her health and well being. But she's alive and she's growing. Every day I think about how I missed out on this precious experience. I know breast feeding is hard, but it's also incredibly easy, and good for the baby and you.
If I could breast feed, we'd never have to buy formula. I wouldn't have to daily wash bottles, sterilize water, pack bottles to go. Have a sticky mess on my counter from spilled powder. I could just pick her up to feed her instead of listening to her cry while I fix a bottle. It truly would be a time and money saver.
However...I would have to deal with a more restricted diet, being crazy hungry all the time, sore nipples, gumming and biting, the struggle of latching and re-latching in crazy holds, feeding more frequently, and the dreaded thrush, and plugged ducts (which I've had).
But, the worst part of all is when people ask and I tell them "I physically couldn't breast feed." They honestly tell me, not in so many words, "Maybe you didn't try hard enough." Are you F*ing kidding me? Insult to Injury indeed! Please let's not shame a mother for her choice, or sometimes what isn't her choice. I can feel envious of other mothers who choose not to breast feed, I wish I'd had that luxury. But I never berate them for not breastfeeding. And to be perfectly honest, it's none of my business. Just as it's not the business of anyone else to pass judgement on me for formula feeding.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Supplementing During Pregnancy
Supplements (not vitamins or minerals) are not studied for health benefits the way prescription drugs are. So, there isn't a whole lot of information on the safety of use during pregnancy. And legally they can't be recommended, except by a Doctor, who probably won't recommend their use because s/he either doesn't know a whole lot about supplements, or just wants to play it safe to avoid a law suit.
So how can you know what is safe to take? Hopefully my own knowledge and experience will enlighten you on the topic. While I am not a Doctor or Medical Practitioner, I have studied natural remedies for years and worked professionally in the field for 3 years. Below are the 4 best supplements for women, in my opinion. As always, discuss with your doctor, do your own research, and make your own best choices for you. I do not recommend or suggest you take the following supplements, I only share with you my experience and findings.
Prenatal Multi-Vitamin: Your Doctor definitely wants you to take these, and will even prescribe them once your pregnancy is confirmed. In fact most Doctors would suggest you start taking them a few months prior to conception. The idea is to get Folic Acid built up in your system since it has been shown to reduce birth defects. It, like most vitamins, is water soluble so you waste what your body doesn't absorb. It is with that knowledge that one-a-day vitamins are not giving you the best benefit or the most for your money. Also, synthetic nutrients are not as readily absorbed, which is why a food sourced, multiple is best. I used New Chapter Organics Perfect Prenatal. It is a 3-a-day, small and easy to swallow, that you can even take on an empty stomach. It did not increase my morning sickness and did not make me constipated. I only took 2 a day, because that's what made me feel my best. I was also eating fortified cereals so I felt confident I was getting enough folic acid.
Probiotics: None of my medical practitioners could advise me on the safety of taking Probiotics during Pregnancy. Since I couldn't eat dairy during my pregnancy, yogurt (a natural source of Probiotics) was off the menu. Probiotics are natural "good" bacteria that support your intestinal flora by increasing good bacteria and suppressing the bad. I figured Probiotics were alright to take during pregnancy, just not the "green" kind. I have to say, I am sorry I didn't start taking them sooner. In addition to supporting my immune system, essential during pregnancy and cold and flu season, Probiotics seemed to ease my anxiety and depression, and kept me regular. I have long suffered a slow digestion which means two things, constipation (why I avoid dairy), and bacterial overgrowth (leads to all sorts of health problems including depression). I ended up using Solaray MultiDophilus 12 Billion. I took one a day at bedtime. Probiotics also slowed down my pregnancy weight gain, but so did giving up dairy. I researched the link between weight gain and dairy, which is not a myth, and discovered that only yogurt doesn't make you gain weight because of the Probiotics.
Calcium: Because I was not eating dairy, I needed to supplement with Calcium. Pregnant women should aim for at least 1,200-2,000mg a day. But, your body can only absorb 500mg at a time. It is best to find a supplement with only 500 per capsule. Also, Calcium Citrate Malate is the best form for supplementation. Calcium Carbonate does not get utilized as well, and has been linked to Kidney Stones. I chose Solaray Calcium with an 85 percent Citrate Malate to 15 percent Carbonate. It was 250 per capsule, I took 2 a day. I was still able to eat cheese, legumes, leafy greens (all excellent sources of calcium), and my dairy substitutes (almond and coconut milk) had Calcium Carbonate supplementation. It is entirely possible that the reason I didn't get Preeclampsia during my pregnancy, and my postpartum Preeclampsia was not as severe, was due to Calcium supplementation. It is thought that 1,500-2,000mg a day can lesson severity of Preeclampsia and Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (which I had).
Fish Oil, Omega 3 Fatty Acids: I was so hesitant to use fish oil during pregnancy because of my fear of mercury contamination. Even though I had a top brand, it tasted "fishy" which usually means spoilage. I know how these products are produced, packed, and shipped, but once in the store it's anyones guess how long they've been on the shelf, exposed to heat and sunlight. It is always best to put in a special request for the next shipment. They will pull it once it comes in and put it in a drawer, calling you that day so you can pick it up immediately. The only brands of liquid I use are Carlson's and Nordic Naturals. Get one with lemon to make it more palatable. The gel caps will give you fish burp and are more expensive, but NN makes a prenatal omega 3. This supplement supports every part of your body, including your stretching skin, which can help reduce stretch marks. I regret not taking this regularly. Although when I did take it, it would make me weepy for some reason, even postpartum. Since I switched to NN, I have not felt weepy. There is no medical evidence to support the claim that fish oil reduces your risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. However, there have been some studies that suggest there are other pregnancy risks with fish oil supplementation (not mercury contamination). I only supplemented during the last trimester and at most 1 teaspoon of oil every other day. But I use it every day otherwise, and it in my opinion is the best supplement for your whole body.
So how can you know what is safe to take? Hopefully my own knowledge and experience will enlighten you on the topic. While I am not a Doctor or Medical Practitioner, I have studied natural remedies for years and worked professionally in the field for 3 years. Below are the 4 best supplements for women, in my opinion. As always, discuss with your doctor, do your own research, and make your own best choices for you. I do not recommend or suggest you take the following supplements, I only share with you my experience and findings.
Prenatal Multi-Vitamin: Your Doctor definitely wants you to take these, and will even prescribe them once your pregnancy is confirmed. In fact most Doctors would suggest you start taking them a few months prior to conception. The idea is to get Folic Acid built up in your system since it has been shown to reduce birth defects. It, like most vitamins, is water soluble so you waste what your body doesn't absorb. It is with that knowledge that one-a-day vitamins are not giving you the best benefit or the most for your money. Also, synthetic nutrients are not as readily absorbed, which is why a food sourced, multiple is best. I used New Chapter Organics Perfect Prenatal. It is a 3-a-day, small and easy to swallow, that you can even take on an empty stomach. It did not increase my morning sickness and did not make me constipated. I only took 2 a day, because that's what made me feel my best. I was also eating fortified cereals so I felt confident I was getting enough folic acid.
Probiotics: None of my medical practitioners could advise me on the safety of taking Probiotics during Pregnancy. Since I couldn't eat dairy during my pregnancy, yogurt (a natural source of Probiotics) was off the menu. Probiotics are natural "good" bacteria that support your intestinal flora by increasing good bacteria and suppressing the bad. I figured Probiotics were alright to take during pregnancy, just not the "green" kind. I have to say, I am sorry I didn't start taking them sooner. In addition to supporting my immune system, essential during pregnancy and cold and flu season, Probiotics seemed to ease my anxiety and depression, and kept me regular. I have long suffered a slow digestion which means two things, constipation (why I avoid dairy), and bacterial overgrowth (leads to all sorts of health problems including depression). I ended up using Solaray MultiDophilus 12 Billion. I took one a day at bedtime. Probiotics also slowed down my pregnancy weight gain, but so did giving up dairy. I researched the link between weight gain and dairy, which is not a myth, and discovered that only yogurt doesn't make you gain weight because of the Probiotics.
Calcium: Because I was not eating dairy, I needed to supplement with Calcium. Pregnant women should aim for at least 1,200-2,000mg a day. But, your body can only absorb 500mg at a time. It is best to find a supplement with only 500 per capsule. Also, Calcium Citrate Malate is the best form for supplementation. Calcium Carbonate does not get utilized as well, and has been linked to Kidney Stones. I chose Solaray Calcium with an 85 percent Citrate Malate to 15 percent Carbonate. It was 250 per capsule, I took 2 a day. I was still able to eat cheese, legumes, leafy greens (all excellent sources of calcium), and my dairy substitutes (almond and coconut milk) had Calcium Carbonate supplementation. It is entirely possible that the reason I didn't get Preeclampsia during my pregnancy, and my postpartum Preeclampsia was not as severe, was due to Calcium supplementation. It is thought that 1,500-2,000mg a day can lesson severity of Preeclampsia and Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (which I had).
Fish Oil, Omega 3 Fatty Acids: I was so hesitant to use fish oil during pregnancy because of my fear of mercury contamination. Even though I had a top brand, it tasted "fishy" which usually means spoilage. I know how these products are produced, packed, and shipped, but once in the store it's anyones guess how long they've been on the shelf, exposed to heat and sunlight. It is always best to put in a special request for the next shipment. They will pull it once it comes in and put it in a drawer, calling you that day so you can pick it up immediately. The only brands of liquid I use are Carlson's and Nordic Naturals. Get one with lemon to make it more palatable. The gel caps will give you fish burp and are more expensive, but NN makes a prenatal omega 3. This supplement supports every part of your body, including your stretching skin, which can help reduce stretch marks. I regret not taking this regularly. Although when I did take it, it would make me weepy for some reason, even postpartum. Since I switched to NN, I have not felt weepy. There is no medical evidence to support the claim that fish oil reduces your risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. However, there have been some studies that suggest there are other pregnancy risks with fish oil supplementation (not mercury contamination). I only supplemented during the last trimester and at most 1 teaspoon of oil every other day. But I use it every day otherwise, and it in my opinion is the best supplement for your whole body.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
What Is A Menstrual Cup?
At 19, a friend told me about The Keeper menstrual cup. Twice in my life I had gotten Menorrhagia and wished I'd had a menstrual cup but I didn't know they existed. Even still, it took me 3 years to come around to the idea and actually buy and use one.
It took 3 months for me to break-it-in as it were and then it was incredibly comfortable. Most of the time I didn't feel it, and some times I would forget I was wearing it. I often would still wear a reusable pad or pantyliner (just in case). But the great part was not having to change it every time I went to the bathroom. It doesn't absorb urine. And it doesn't dry you out. On light days I only change it twice a day. There have been no known cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome with a menstrual cup. I just use soap and water to wash my cup when I'm done using it for the cycle. You can boil it or run it through the dishwasher, if it's made from medical grade silicone, like the Moon or Lunette Cup.
I just purchased my new Keeper (post baby size) and I've finally broken it in. So I'm all set for the last 11 and the next 9 years (20 years total) and the cost has been around $80. Plus I am not creating and throwing away all that garbage. And I never have to pack anything with me when I go places because I'm already wearing it. Some people complain of having to change it when out and about. But honestly just wipe the edge with some toilet paper. The only real danger might be dropping it in the toilet. Then I would boil it. Luckily this has never happened to me.
So to re-cap, it's easier, cheaper, more sanitary, less wasteful, environmentally friendly, and more comfortable. Why wouldn't you use one? Just in case you are allergic to gum rubber, what The Keeper is made from, there is also The Moon Cup and The Diva Cup and the Lunette Cup made from medical grade silicone.
My favorite shop for reusable menstrual products is Glad Rags. I even was one of their "friend of the month" featured stories, and that's how I restocked my reusable pads for free. But since I sew I also make my own.
It took 3 months for me to break-it-in as it were and then it was incredibly comfortable. Most of the time I didn't feel it, and some times I would forget I was wearing it. I often would still wear a reusable pad or pantyliner (just in case). But the great part was not having to change it every time I went to the bathroom. It doesn't absorb urine. And it doesn't dry you out. On light days I only change it twice a day. There have been no known cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome with a menstrual cup. I just use soap and water to wash my cup when I'm done using it for the cycle. You can boil it or run it through the dishwasher, if it's made from medical grade silicone, like the Moon or Lunette Cup.
I just purchased my new Keeper (post baby size) and I've finally broken it in. So I'm all set for the last 11 and the next 9 years (20 years total) and the cost has been around $80. Plus I am not creating and throwing away all that garbage. And I never have to pack anything with me when I go places because I'm already wearing it. Some people complain of having to change it when out and about. But honestly just wipe the edge with some toilet paper. The only real danger might be dropping it in the toilet. Then I would boil it. Luckily this has never happened to me.
So to re-cap, it's easier, cheaper, more sanitary, less wasteful, environmentally friendly, and more comfortable. Why wouldn't you use one? Just in case you are allergic to gum rubber, what The Keeper is made from, there is also The Moon Cup and The Diva Cup and the Lunette Cup made from medical grade silicone.
My favorite shop for reusable menstrual products is Glad Rags. I even was one of their "friend of the month" featured stories, and that's how I restocked my reusable pads for free. But since I sew I also make my own.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Postpartum Preeclampsia
Three days after the birth of my child, and one day home from the Hospital, I was surprised when I got on the scale and had only lost 5 lbs from the delivery. My baby alone weighed almost 9, and with the amniotic fluid and placenta I was betting on a loss of at least 15 lbs.
That night, for no apparent reason, my feet and legs swelled up severely in a matter of minutes and began twitching. I couldn't wiggle my toes and my ankles were folded. It didn't hurt, other than feeling tight, and I could walk. So I did what we all have been taught to do with swelling, R.I.C.E.-rest, ice, compression, elevation. I had some Chamomile tea and tried to relax. It was 11 pm. I then did a little research on what the problem might be and came across Postpartum Preeclampsia. The condition itself is pretty scary and the only remedy would be going back to the hospital and having Magnesium Sulfate run through my body. We decided to wait and see. Luckily for me I did not suffer a seizure, this is not a "wait and see" condition.
By the next morning my legs were still swollen and now so were my face and hands. We contacted the emergency line for my OB/GYN. My Doctor called us back and said I needed to have my Blood Pressure checked, and was I feeling stressed out? But with a 4 day old and little to no sleep, what is the normal amount of stressed? Earlier that day my husband was trying to relax me with a little joking around and I told him "Don't F*** with me!" For me I'd say that was a good indication.
We got my BP checked it was very high, but not catastrophic. When I called my Dr. back she said go to the Hospital. Thankfully my Doctor did not ignore my symptoms and had contacted the ER letting them know I was coming and the condition I might have so they would not shrug off my symptoms. I've read horror stories about this happening and the results. We drove into the city (30 miles away), back to the hospital.
Hours later, I was finally admitted and checked. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia. This condition can lead to seizures, stroke, organ failure, heart disease and in some cases death. It can occur anytime after delivery up to 10 weeks. The symptoms can vary but include swelling or edema, blurred vision, pain in your abdomen often radiating toward your shoulder, headaches, infrequent urination, nausea or vomiting, high blood pressure 140/90 or higher, and protein in your urine. Unfortunately this condition is often misdiagnosed. If you go to your Doctor or the ER make sure they know you are Postpartum. To read more about it check out the article in For The Record or go to Preeclampsia.org
Before I had even been diagnosed, I had used the bathroom twice and both times it felt like I had peed a liter. The Doctors explained to me that I was retaining fluid in the space between my muscles and skin, that is why I was so swollen. Once you are admitted and on a drip, get a Catheter. You will not believe how much fluid is going to come out of you and on Magnesium you can't just get up and go to the bathroom. I had a hard time even telling if I had to go while on Magnesium. After failed attempts with a bedside toilet and an overflowing of my bedpan, I opted to make it easier on myself and my nurses.
Magnesium makes you feel awful. But it is necessary. I won't say anymore on this topic.
Once I was off the drip, I stayed for observation for one day. We were able to move back to the Mother/Baby unit to be more comfortable. After discharge, I had to monitor my weight every day for 2 weeks, if I gained more than 3 lbs in one day I was to call my Dr. I stayed on blood pressure medication for 7 more weeks slowly tapering off. But that wasn't the end of my high blood pressure. At 4 months postpartum my pressure was getting close to normal. Thankfully I had no further complications with Preeclampsia.
I have never had blood pressure problems before pregnancy, but by the end of my pregnancy I had been diagnosed with chronic hypertension. During delivery my BP readings were alright, and afterward they were perfect for two days in the hospital. I can't be sure, but something that might have saved me from getting Preeclampsia while pregnant, and from my condition postpartum being more severe was supplementing with Calcium. Since I was unable to drink milk during my pregnancy I decided to supplement with 500 mg of Calcium daily. Some of the milk substitutions that I used, such as Almond milk and Coconut milk, also had Calcium added. Research has indicated that supplementing with as much as 2,000 mg per day can be beneficial in preventing the condition.
Postpartum Preeclampsia still isn't entirely understood. In Preeclampsia the cure is birth. Afterwards, no one is sure why some women get it, or if it might reoccur after medication. Also, the condition can show up anytime from after birth to as much as 10 weeks postpartum.
That night, for no apparent reason, my feet and legs swelled up severely in a matter of minutes and began twitching. I couldn't wiggle my toes and my ankles were folded. It didn't hurt, other than feeling tight, and I could walk. So I did what we all have been taught to do with swelling, R.I.C.E.-rest, ice, compression, elevation. I had some Chamomile tea and tried to relax. It was 11 pm. I then did a little research on what the problem might be and came across Postpartum Preeclampsia. The condition itself is pretty scary and the only remedy would be going back to the hospital and having Magnesium Sulfate run through my body. We decided to wait and see. Luckily for me I did not suffer a seizure, this is not a "wait and see" condition.
By the next morning my legs were still swollen and now so were my face and hands. We contacted the emergency line for my OB/GYN. My Doctor called us back and said I needed to have my Blood Pressure checked, and was I feeling stressed out? But with a 4 day old and little to no sleep, what is the normal amount of stressed? Earlier that day my husband was trying to relax me with a little joking around and I told him "Don't F*** with me!" For me I'd say that was a good indication.
We got my BP checked it was very high, but not catastrophic. When I called my Dr. back she said go to the Hospital. Thankfully my Doctor did not ignore my symptoms and had contacted the ER letting them know I was coming and the condition I might have so they would not shrug off my symptoms. I've read horror stories about this happening and the results. We drove into the city (30 miles away), back to the hospital.
Hours later, I was finally admitted and checked. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia. This condition can lead to seizures, stroke, organ failure, heart disease and in some cases death. It can occur anytime after delivery up to 10 weeks. The symptoms can vary but include swelling or edema, blurred vision, pain in your abdomen often radiating toward your shoulder, headaches, infrequent urination, nausea or vomiting, high blood pressure 140/90 or higher, and protein in your urine. Unfortunately this condition is often misdiagnosed. If you go to your Doctor or the ER make sure they know you are Postpartum. To read more about it check out the article in For The Record or go to Preeclampsia.org
Before I had even been diagnosed, I had used the bathroom twice and both times it felt like I had peed a liter. The Doctors explained to me that I was retaining fluid in the space between my muscles and skin, that is why I was so swollen. Once you are admitted and on a drip, get a Catheter. You will not believe how much fluid is going to come out of you and on Magnesium you can't just get up and go to the bathroom. I had a hard time even telling if I had to go while on Magnesium. After failed attempts with a bedside toilet and an overflowing of my bedpan, I opted to make it easier on myself and my nurses.
Magnesium makes you feel awful. But it is necessary. I won't say anymore on this topic.
Once I was off the drip, I stayed for observation for one day. We were able to move back to the Mother/Baby unit to be more comfortable. After discharge, I had to monitor my weight every day for 2 weeks, if I gained more than 3 lbs in one day I was to call my Dr. I stayed on blood pressure medication for 7 more weeks slowly tapering off. But that wasn't the end of my high blood pressure. At 4 months postpartum my pressure was getting close to normal. Thankfully I had no further complications with Preeclampsia.
I have never had blood pressure problems before pregnancy, but by the end of my pregnancy I had been diagnosed with chronic hypertension. During delivery my BP readings were alright, and afterward they were perfect for two days in the hospital. I can't be sure, but something that might have saved me from getting Preeclampsia while pregnant, and from my condition postpartum being more severe was supplementing with Calcium. Since I was unable to drink milk during my pregnancy I decided to supplement with 500 mg of Calcium daily. Some of the milk substitutions that I used, such as Almond milk and Coconut milk, also had Calcium added. Research has indicated that supplementing with as much as 2,000 mg per day can be beneficial in preventing the condition.
Postpartum Preeclampsia still isn't entirely understood. In Preeclampsia the cure is birth. Afterwards, no one is sure why some women get it, or if it might reoccur after medication. Also, the condition can show up anytime from after birth to as much as 10 weeks postpartum.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Traditional? Roles, i.e. The Housewife
When I was little I never really dreamed of what profession I would have as a grown up. Some of my loftier ideas were Pediatrician, Veterinarian, and New York City Clothing Designer. The last one fell to the wayside with my abhorrence of consumerism, but also because of my lack of ambition and talent. Mostly I just wanted to be a Mommy. I got to do this professionally for more than 20 years.
In all that time of dreaming of being a Mommy, I never really thought about how I would make money. I would fantasize about winning Publishers Clearing House or inheriting a ton of money from some long lost relative, or marrying rich. My own Mom had a slogan, from someone else I'm sure, that if you marry rich you earn every penny. I assumed she knew what she was talking about, firstly because my Dad's name is "Rich," and although she and my Dad fought about finances as much as any couple, I always felt secure in their holdings if not their marriage. They just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. But I wanted to marry rich not just to be taken care of, but so I would never have to argue about money with my spouse. Naive, yes. I now know that no matter how much money a couple has, it is a source of arguments.
I don't care much about material things anymore, I don't need to be lottery rich, I just want to be able to live. We don't spend a lot of money. Our top two purchases, other than rent and utilities, are Food, from grocery stores, and Gas, to get to said grocery and work. I ask myself before every purchase "Do I need this?" And I'm constantly giving things away that I don't need any longer. All that being said, we are broke. I've been broke before and this is it. We haven't gotten to the hot dog, Ramen noodle broke, but we have no money to spare, and slightly less than we need.
My husband and I were Farmers, this just recently (4 months ago), unexpectedly, and irrevocably ended. Our savings were invested in that farm. Our goal was to not be in debt, thankfully this was achieved. We had made a small profit in year 3, and we were on track to make a decent profit in year 4. We were left with nothing but a place to live, that while the rent is low, we still can't afford. No means of income, little savings, and with a new (3 week old) baby.
My husband is still trying to psychologically climb out from this (his family farm-that he started), find work, and make enough money for us to live. We are barely getting by. He finally got full time at his hourly wage job so hopefully we will have enough to actually get by on, and maybe save up enough to move.
My problem, I can't help. I can't just go out and get a job, I have a baby to take care of. So I feel like no help. Putting my child in daycare so I can go back to work would eat all my earnings, so that's pointless. And my husband just isn't able to take care of the baby right now. We could not tag-team work and childcare. And my Dad, who is taking care of my Niece, lives too far away to watch my baby. Plus, my Niece is in Parent's Day Out and picks up every illness and promptly brings it back to my Dad.
So, here I am. Housewife. I finally have the baby I always wanted and all I want to do is stay at home with her. But I can't shake this feeling of guilt for not contributing financially. I love taking care of my baby. I love cooking. I hate cleaning. I hate not having any money, especially money I earned. And I miss being an adult out there in the world with other adults.
In all that time of dreaming of being a Mommy, I never really thought about how I would make money. I would fantasize about winning Publishers Clearing House or inheriting a ton of money from some long lost relative, or marrying rich. My own Mom had a slogan, from someone else I'm sure, that if you marry rich you earn every penny. I assumed she knew what she was talking about, firstly because my Dad's name is "Rich," and although she and my Dad fought about finances as much as any couple, I always felt secure in their holdings if not their marriage. They just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. But I wanted to marry rich not just to be taken care of, but so I would never have to argue about money with my spouse. Naive, yes. I now know that no matter how much money a couple has, it is a source of arguments.
I don't care much about material things anymore, I don't need to be lottery rich, I just want to be able to live. We don't spend a lot of money. Our top two purchases, other than rent and utilities, are Food, from grocery stores, and Gas, to get to said grocery and work. I ask myself before every purchase "Do I need this?" And I'm constantly giving things away that I don't need any longer. All that being said, we are broke. I've been broke before and this is it. We haven't gotten to the hot dog, Ramen noodle broke, but we have no money to spare, and slightly less than we need.
My husband and I were Farmers, this just recently (4 months ago), unexpectedly, and irrevocably ended. Our savings were invested in that farm. Our goal was to not be in debt, thankfully this was achieved. We had made a small profit in year 3, and we were on track to make a decent profit in year 4. We were left with nothing but a place to live, that while the rent is low, we still can't afford. No means of income, little savings, and with a new (3 week old) baby.
My husband is still trying to psychologically climb out from this (his family farm-that he started), find work, and make enough money for us to live. We are barely getting by. He finally got full time at his hourly wage job so hopefully we will have enough to actually get by on, and maybe save up enough to move.
My problem, I can't help. I can't just go out and get a job, I have a baby to take care of. So I feel like no help. Putting my child in daycare so I can go back to work would eat all my earnings, so that's pointless. And my husband just isn't able to take care of the baby right now. We could not tag-team work and childcare. And my Dad, who is taking care of my Niece, lives too far away to watch my baby. Plus, my Niece is in Parent's Day Out and picks up every illness and promptly brings it back to my Dad.
So, here I am. Housewife. I finally have the baby I always wanted and all I want to do is stay at home with her. But I can't shake this feeling of guilt for not contributing financially. I love taking care of my baby. I love cooking. I hate cleaning. I hate not having any money, especially money I earned. And I miss being an adult out there in the world with other adults.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Pregnancy Is Not A Disablity...But, It Was For Me
I was a farmer. A farmer works outside year round, in some less than desirable conditions. It was the hardest, most stressful job, that I loved. When I found out I was pregnant, early June, we were deep into the busiest time of the year. Based on research for safe pregnancies, I immediately scratched 1/4 of the things I could do, like collecting eggs (Toxoplasmosis) or working with the Bees and Sheep, off my list.
3 more weeks in I was no longer able to work outside because of the heat. After about 1/2 an hour I would have to lie down or pass out. At the same time I was less able to do indoor tasks as well because of my nausea. Try washing stinky eggs, oven-drying tomatoes, or baking for the markets all day while experiencing the worst nausea of your life...every day for 2 months. I would cry at night because I didn't want to go to bed and wake up to another day of nausea like the one I had just experienced. I felt so bad that when I would get worried about a miscarriage my thoughts drifted to-at least I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore.
Finally around week 16, I started to feel better and it had cooled down outside. I could even go to the Farmers' Markets and work. But I could no longer lift anything heavy. We participated in fall/winter markets and we kept animals, so there was never an off season.
By 25 weeks, I started having Carpal Tunnel symptoms. I was just learning how to Knit, because I made Crochet and Knit items for the winter markets. In a few more weeks not only would I not be able to knit, I wouldn't be able to hold a book or a spatula and pan.
Then in week 35 I over worked my pelvic joints while hanging curtains and from then on I could no longer stand, walk, or move without being in serious pain. It was so bad, a few weeks before delivery my husband made me call the emergency line for my OB/GYN on a Saturday morning because I almost couldn't get into his truck and when I did it hurt so bad I was crying.
So, for the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy all I could do without being in pain was sit and stare. Add to this prenatal depression and anxiety for most of the pregnancy. If you have or are suffering from prenatal depression or anxiety please keep your partner or doctor current on how you feel. If you haven't suffered, don't make judgements. Having been a long-time sufferer of depression and anxiety I can say this was the worst I've ever experienced, except I never got suicidal. I however was convinced that the pregnancy was going to kill me. I did get some relief, see my future post on supplements during pregnancy.
It was a tough year full of suffering, but also joy. I did lose some friends out of the experience, but other friendships were strengthened. I learn a hard lesson every year. This year's lesson was:
*You can't possibly know what someone else is going through. You can sympathize but don't empathize, and don't judge! Every experience is different not just for different people, but sometimes with the same person on different occasions. Don't compare situations. Just because you had a similar experience you can't know how the other person is feeling or what they are experiencing. And if you've never had a similar experience keep your opinions to yourself!*
As for the last statement, I learned long ago that you don't know what you are capable of, or what you will do in a situation until you are in it. If you love someone-be supportive.
3 more weeks in I was no longer able to work outside because of the heat. After about 1/2 an hour I would have to lie down or pass out. At the same time I was less able to do indoor tasks as well because of my nausea. Try washing stinky eggs, oven-drying tomatoes, or baking for the markets all day while experiencing the worst nausea of your life...every day for 2 months. I would cry at night because I didn't want to go to bed and wake up to another day of nausea like the one I had just experienced. I felt so bad that when I would get worried about a miscarriage my thoughts drifted to-at least I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore.
Finally around week 16, I started to feel better and it had cooled down outside. I could even go to the Farmers' Markets and work. But I could no longer lift anything heavy. We participated in fall/winter markets and we kept animals, so there was never an off season.
By 25 weeks, I started having Carpal Tunnel symptoms. I was just learning how to Knit, because I made Crochet and Knit items for the winter markets. In a few more weeks not only would I not be able to knit, I wouldn't be able to hold a book or a spatula and pan.
Then in week 35 I over worked my pelvic joints while hanging curtains and from then on I could no longer stand, walk, or move without being in serious pain. It was so bad, a few weeks before delivery my husband made me call the emergency line for my OB/GYN on a Saturday morning because I almost couldn't get into his truck and when I did it hurt so bad I was crying.
So, for the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy all I could do without being in pain was sit and stare. Add to this prenatal depression and anxiety for most of the pregnancy. If you have or are suffering from prenatal depression or anxiety please keep your partner or doctor current on how you feel. If you haven't suffered, don't make judgements. Having been a long-time sufferer of depression and anxiety I can say this was the worst I've ever experienced, except I never got suicidal. I however was convinced that the pregnancy was going to kill me. I did get some relief, see my future post on supplements during pregnancy.
It was a tough year full of suffering, but also joy. I did lose some friends out of the experience, but other friendships were strengthened. I learn a hard lesson every year. This year's lesson was:
*You can't possibly know what someone else is going through. You can sympathize but don't empathize, and don't judge! Every experience is different not just for different people, but sometimes with the same person on different occasions. Don't compare situations. Just because you had a similar experience you can't know how the other person is feeling or what they are experiencing. And if you've never had a similar experience keep your opinions to yourself!*
As for the last statement, I learned long ago that you don't know what you are capable of, or what you will do in a situation until you are in it. If you love someone-be supportive.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Movie Review: Rental - Friends with Kids
Starring Jennifer Westfeldt and Adam Scott (see full IMDB here) I give this movie a 3 out of 5 stars. More on my ratings scale later. While I love Westfeldt and her story concepts, Kissing Jessica Stein (I own), Ira and Abby, this movie had the tragic feel of Hollywood interference.
The movie follows the lives of two close long term friends who decide to not wait for a romantic life partner but have a baby with each other. Surrounding this couple of Singletons are two other couples of Marrieds who have already bit the child bullet. The movie provides an interesting take on what might happen and how children can change our lives and our relationships with our loved ones.
It's so much fun seeing this group of funny, familiar faces like Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph, as well as Westfeldt's real life partner Jon Hamm, together so often. And all of the actors played their parts well. Most of the time the story line was funny, heart warming and endearing. I neither endorse nor reject this movie. Rent at your own discretion.
My ratings scale. 1-5 stars, based on the Netflix concept.
1 star: I probably stopped watching the movie midway and it was a waste of time.
2 stars: Midway through I fast forwarded to the end just to see how it ended and it was a waste of time.
3 stars: It was alright. I probably won't watch it a second time.
4 stars: I really liked this movie and I'll probably watch it a few more times in my life.
5 stars: It's so good I own it.
The movie follows the lives of two close long term friends who decide to not wait for a romantic life partner but have a baby with each other. Surrounding this couple of Singletons are two other couples of Marrieds who have already bit the child bullet. The movie provides an interesting take on what might happen and how children can change our lives and our relationships with our loved ones.
It's so much fun seeing this group of funny, familiar faces like Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph, as well as Westfeldt's real life partner Jon Hamm, together so often. And all of the actors played their parts well. Most of the time the story line was funny, heart warming and endearing. I neither endorse nor reject this movie. Rent at your own discretion.
My ratings scale. 1-5 stars, based on the Netflix concept.
1 star: I probably stopped watching the movie midway and it was a waste of time.
2 stars: Midway through I fast forwarded to the end just to see how it ended and it was a waste of time.
3 stars: It was alright. I probably won't watch it a second time.
4 stars: I really liked this movie and I'll probably watch it a few more times in my life.
5 stars: It's so good I own it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
How long before my wedding ring fits again? And other marriage musings.
5 months postpartum and my ring still doesn't fit.
I know when I was this weight during my pregnancy I still had my ring on, so why won't it fit now? Simple answer, My body has changed. Read Gary Taubes book Why We Get Fat and you'll understand how our hormones, largely determined by our genetic makeup determines where on our body we store fat. It's the reason why some of us are Apples and others are Pears. But pregnancy is a whole new can of hormones and maybe we gain weight in new places now, oh joy. More on that topic another time.
My wedding ring means something to me. It is a connection to my commitment to my husband and a large symbol to the world that I am married. It is the only symbol I bought into in regards to getting married. That, and a hotel room for our wedding night.
If you haven't yet figured out that a new baby puts a huge strain on your relationship, you probably will soon. Pregnancy kicked my husband out of our bed and he has yet to return, sleep is too precious a commodity for both of us. And why not have separate beds? According to sleep studies 25 percent of all couples (in the study) slept in separate bedrooms for better sleep. Although I did recently read another study that suggests men sleep better with a partner. But, what about the partner?
Probably the biggest issue with a new baby is how to take care of/raise the baby. Luckily my husband and I don't really have a problem with this. He's concerned that I'll be too protective and I'm concerned he won't be protective enough so it balances out. That, and as he puts it "I'm letting you drive on this one." So if it's a question on what to do, I get to answer. And a few of the many books I've read about parenting suggest to choose which one of you will be the caregiver and always defer to that person. This saves a lot of arguing.
But I've seen other new parents, who never really talked it out, go to battles about every little detail. Or worse, they silently seethe (I'm guilty of this one). This can destroy a family. All that hostility spills out into every aspect of life. And before too long the love is gone. So many people who get married for love neglect to consider how good of a parent their future spouse may be, or if their parenting styles are similar. First and foremost to know prior to marriage is if your spouse even wants (seriously) children.
My husband and I got married to have children. We talked about it at great length what kind of parents we would be, how many we might want, how we would handle certain situations, but of course now we make it up as we go along. Most of the time it works, except when it doesn't. My biggest complaint is that I wish he would take a more active role in caring for our child, rather than being asked. His biggest complaint is that I need to ask for what I want him to do and not just get upset with him when he doesn't do it. It can be very frustrating.
Our baby comes first for both of us, but we are Partners. So when will the symbol of my partnership, my ring, fit? I can't wait, and that impatience reminds me of how much I love my husband.
I know when I was this weight during my pregnancy I still had my ring on, so why won't it fit now? Simple answer, My body has changed. Read Gary Taubes book Why We Get Fat and you'll understand how our hormones, largely determined by our genetic makeup determines where on our body we store fat. It's the reason why some of us are Apples and others are Pears. But pregnancy is a whole new can of hormones and maybe we gain weight in new places now, oh joy. More on that topic another time.
My wedding ring means something to me. It is a connection to my commitment to my husband and a large symbol to the world that I am married. It is the only symbol I bought into in regards to getting married. That, and a hotel room for our wedding night.
If you haven't yet figured out that a new baby puts a huge strain on your relationship, you probably will soon. Pregnancy kicked my husband out of our bed and he has yet to return, sleep is too precious a commodity for both of us. And why not have separate beds? According to sleep studies 25 percent of all couples (in the study) slept in separate bedrooms for better sleep. Although I did recently read another study that suggests men sleep better with a partner. But, what about the partner?
Probably the biggest issue with a new baby is how to take care of/raise the baby. Luckily my husband and I don't really have a problem with this. He's concerned that I'll be too protective and I'm concerned he won't be protective enough so it balances out. That, and as he puts it "I'm letting you drive on this one." So if it's a question on what to do, I get to answer. And a few of the many books I've read about parenting suggest to choose which one of you will be the caregiver and always defer to that person. This saves a lot of arguing.
But I've seen other new parents, who never really talked it out, go to battles about every little detail. Or worse, they silently seethe (I'm guilty of this one). This can destroy a family. All that hostility spills out into every aspect of life. And before too long the love is gone. So many people who get married for love neglect to consider how good of a parent their future spouse may be, or if their parenting styles are similar. First and foremost to know prior to marriage is if your spouse even wants (seriously) children.
My husband and I got married to have children. We talked about it at great length what kind of parents we would be, how many we might want, how we would handle certain situations, but of course now we make it up as we go along. Most of the time it works, except when it doesn't. My biggest complaint is that I wish he would take a more active role in caring for our child, rather than being asked. His biggest complaint is that I need to ask for what I want him to do and not just get upset with him when he doesn't do it. It can be very frustrating.
Our baby comes first for both of us, but we are Partners. So when will the symbol of my partnership, my ring, fit? I can't wait, and that impatience reminds me of how much I love my husband.
Monday, July 16, 2012
If at the end of the day everyone lives...
As a new (or soon to be new) parent, I'm sure you've heard the phrase that if everyone is alive at the end of the day (or the beginning the way I measure) then the day was a success.
This couldn't be more true the first few weeks. Trying to function on hardly any sleep and living high stress with trying to figure out what to do with this little creature, it's hard to imagine I ever had time to shower or cook a meal. I don't remember much from those days.
But should I still be telling myself this at 5 months? Do I still have the right to make excuses for not showering, for my house being a wreck, and letting my friendships fall by the wayside? I'm guessing this all comes with the territory of having children. Good parents will always put their children's needs first.
For a few precious weeks (sometime late in the 3rd month) we had a great nighttime routine and I could get a 6 hour stretch of sleep. This is very crucial for my sanity and ability to function. Then the teething began. Oh, she'll sleep for 10 hours a night, but she needs to get up at least once to eat, twice during growth spurts. Not that big of a deal, but I get all the night feedings and this means I never get more than 4 or 5 hours a night. If I can get back to sleep maybe I can grab another 2.
Sleeping when the baby sleeps is a big joke that I learned the punch line to in the first few weeks of motherhood.
But for some reason this sleep disruption has sent me back to the dark ages of babydom where I just can't get anything done. My heart goes out to parents working outside of the home having to try to function in the workplace on little to no sleep. Or to parents of older children (of which one day I hope to aspire) who just have to keep trucking no matter what.
Having struggled (and still struggling) with PPD - Postpartum Depression, I find it hard to want to interact with anybody other than my spouse. Leaving the house is a chore I just don't have the energy to do, and I sometimes dread. I honestly don't have the energy to do anything that I don't have to do-which really centers around taking care of the baby. And even then sometimes I don't have the energy to do that.
Thankfully I have a partner who is able to help sometimes, but definitely when I am at my wits end. In the morning my baby is alive, and she smiles to see me, so I must be doing something right.
This couldn't be more true the first few weeks. Trying to function on hardly any sleep and living high stress with trying to figure out what to do with this little creature, it's hard to imagine I ever had time to shower or cook a meal. I don't remember much from those days.
But should I still be telling myself this at 5 months? Do I still have the right to make excuses for not showering, for my house being a wreck, and letting my friendships fall by the wayside? I'm guessing this all comes with the territory of having children. Good parents will always put their children's needs first.
For a few precious weeks (sometime late in the 3rd month) we had a great nighttime routine and I could get a 6 hour stretch of sleep. This is very crucial for my sanity and ability to function. Then the teething began. Oh, she'll sleep for 10 hours a night, but she needs to get up at least once to eat, twice during growth spurts. Not that big of a deal, but I get all the night feedings and this means I never get more than 4 or 5 hours a night. If I can get back to sleep maybe I can grab another 2.
Sleeping when the baby sleeps is a big joke that I learned the punch line to in the first few weeks of motherhood.
But for some reason this sleep disruption has sent me back to the dark ages of babydom where I just can't get anything done. My heart goes out to parents working outside of the home having to try to function in the workplace on little to no sleep. Or to parents of older children (of which one day I hope to aspire) who just have to keep trucking no matter what.
Having struggled (and still struggling) with PPD - Postpartum Depression, I find it hard to want to interact with anybody other than my spouse. Leaving the house is a chore I just don't have the energy to do, and I sometimes dread. I honestly don't have the energy to do anything that I don't have to do-which really centers around taking care of the baby. And even then sometimes I don't have the energy to do that.
Thankfully I have a partner who is able to help sometimes, but definitely when I am at my wits end. In the morning my baby is alive, and she smiles to see me, so I must be doing something right.
Welcome
Welcome to my new blog. It's not just about parenting. It's life. More specifically, my life with a new (not so new) baby that I hope you can relate to, and perhaps find some humor and comfort.
I am not an expert. I have a bachelors degree in Philosophy with a special concentration in Art History. That is all. I do not have a medical degree. I am not a childcare specialist. I have been working in the child care field since I was 11. I've worked in a variety of venues from in the home to centers including one for abused and displaced teens. I have a specialization in infants. But nothing can prepare you for your own.
I never knew I could be so afraid for someone's life. I am so excited to be a mother, but we all have our days when we wish we could not be responsible. Unfortunately if you are a mother, or soon to be, those days are gone. Even if you do get some time away you will probably be thinking about the safety and well being of your child.
To introduce this blog a bit further, I have also worked in Natural Medicine, I am an atheist, according to my husband I may be a Libertarian, and up until pregnancy really kicked in I was an non-certified more-than-Organic farmer for the last 3 years. I've had a food blog on blogger for a few years and I am in the process of transitioning to a website called Kitchen of Sarah. On that blog I focus on healthy and chemical free, and some not so healthy, recipes designed for ease and use of what's on hand in my kitchen, and mainly gluten free. On our farm's website I often blogged on topics that were farm specific or living the life that led me to farming, re: anti-consumerism.
If there are any topics that span the fields mentioned please ask and I'll write what I know, and research the rest. I'll let you know what I find. But please be kind. I am not perfect.
Thank you for joining me, I hope you enjoy the ride.
I can't leave this post without giving props to a good friend of mine who started me on this path of life blogging. She made my horrible pregnancy tolerable just by being pregnant too, admitting to having a horrible pregnancy, and writing about it so fellow sufferers could commiserate. If you are having a hard time during pregnancy and haven't found Tired of Being Pregnant, check it out. And for the new parents she has another blog First Time Mom and Dad.
I am not an expert. I have a bachelors degree in Philosophy with a special concentration in Art History. That is all. I do not have a medical degree. I am not a childcare specialist. I have been working in the child care field since I was 11. I've worked in a variety of venues from in the home to centers including one for abused and displaced teens. I have a specialization in infants. But nothing can prepare you for your own.
I never knew I could be so afraid for someone's life. I am so excited to be a mother, but we all have our days when we wish we could not be responsible. Unfortunately if you are a mother, or soon to be, those days are gone. Even if you do get some time away you will probably be thinking about the safety and well being of your child.
To introduce this blog a bit further, I have also worked in Natural Medicine, I am an atheist, according to my husband I may be a Libertarian, and up until pregnancy really kicked in I was an non-certified more-than-Organic farmer for the last 3 years. I've had a food blog on blogger for a few years and I am in the process of transitioning to a website called Kitchen of Sarah. On that blog I focus on healthy and chemical free, and some not so healthy, recipes designed for ease and use of what's on hand in my kitchen, and mainly gluten free. On our farm's website I often blogged on topics that were farm specific or living the life that led me to farming, re: anti-consumerism.
If there are any topics that span the fields mentioned please ask and I'll write what I know, and research the rest. I'll let you know what I find. But please be kind. I am not perfect.
Thank you for joining me, I hope you enjoy the ride.
I can't leave this post without giving props to a good friend of mine who started me on this path of life blogging. She made my horrible pregnancy tolerable just by being pregnant too, admitting to having a horrible pregnancy, and writing about it so fellow sufferers could commiserate. If you are having a hard time during pregnancy and haven't found Tired of Being Pregnant, check it out. And for the new parents she has another blog First Time Mom and Dad.
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