If at the end of the day everyone lives...

As a new (or soon to be new) parent, I'm sure you've heard the phrase that if everyone is alive at the end of the day (or the beginning the way I measure) then the day was a success.

This couldn't be more true the first few weeks. Trying to function on hardly any sleep and living high stress with trying to figure out what to do with this little creature, it's hard to imagine I ever had time to shower or cook a meal. I don't remember much from those days.

But should I still be telling myself this at 5 months? Do I still have the right to make excuses for not showering, for my house being a wreck, and letting my friendships fall by the wayside? I'm guessing this all comes with the territory of having children. Good parents will always put their children's needs first.

For a few precious weeks (sometime late in the 3rd month) we had a great nighttime routine and I could get a 6 hour stretch of sleep. This is very crucial for my sanity and ability to function. Then the teething began. Oh, she'll sleep for 10 hours a night, but she needs to get up at least once to eat, twice during growth spurts. Not that big of a deal, but I get all the night feedings and this means I never get more than 4 or 5 hours a night. If I can get back to sleep maybe I can grab another 2.

Sleeping when the baby sleeps is a big joke that I learned the punch line to in the first few weeks of motherhood.

But for some reason this sleep disruption has sent me back to the dark ages of babydom where I just can't get anything done. My heart goes out to parents working outside of the home having to try to function in the workplace on little to no sleep. Or to parents of older children (of which one day I hope to aspire) who just have to keep trucking no matter what.

Having struggled (and still struggling) with PPD - Postpartum Depression, I find it hard to want to interact with anybody other than my spouse. Leaving the house is a chore I just don't have the energy to do, and I sometimes dread. I honestly don't have the energy to do anything that I don't have to do-which really centers around taking care of the baby. And even then sometimes I don't have the energy to do that.

Thankfully I have a partner who is able to help sometimes, but definitely when I am at my wits end. In the morning my baby is alive, and she smiles to see me, so I must be doing something right.