Pregnancy Is Not A Disablity...But, It Was For Me

I was a farmer.  A farmer works outside year round, in some less than desirable conditions.  It was the hardest, most stressful job, that I loved.  When I found out I was pregnant, early June, we were deep into the busiest time of the year.  Based on research for safe pregnancies, I immediately scratched 1/4 of the things I could do, like collecting eggs (Toxoplasmosis) or working with the Bees and Sheep, off my list.

3 more weeks in I was no longer able to work outside because of the heat.  After about 1/2 an hour I would have to lie down or pass out.  At the same time I was less able to do indoor tasks as well because of my nausea.  Try washing stinky eggs, oven-drying tomatoes, or baking for the markets all day while experiencing the worst nausea of your life...every day for 2 months.  I would cry at night because I didn't want to go to bed and wake up to another day of nausea like the one I had just experienced.  I felt so bad that when I would get worried about a miscarriage my thoughts drifted to-at least I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore.

Finally around week 16, I started to feel better and it had cooled down outside.  I could even go to the Farmers' Markets and work.  But I could no longer lift anything heavy.  We participated in fall/winter markets and we kept animals, so there was never an off season.

By 25 weeks, I started having Carpal Tunnel symptoms.  I was just learning how to Knit, because I made Crochet and Knit items for the winter markets.  In a few more weeks not only would I not be able to knit, I wouldn't be able to hold a book or a spatula and pan.

Then in week 35 I over worked my pelvic joints while hanging curtains and from then on I could no longer stand, walk, or move without being in serious pain.  It was so bad, a few weeks before delivery my husband made me call the emergency line for my OB/GYN on a Saturday morning because I almost couldn't get into his truck and when I did it hurt so bad I was crying.

So, for the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy all I could do without being in pain was sit and stare.  Add to this prenatal depression and anxiety for most of the pregnancy.  If you have or are suffering from prenatal depression or anxiety please keep your partner or doctor current on how you feel.  If you haven't suffered, don't make judgements.  Having been a long-time sufferer of depression and anxiety I can say this was the worst I've ever experienced, except I never got suicidal.  I however was convinced that the pregnancy was going to kill me.  I did get some relief, see my future post on supplements during pregnancy.

It was a tough year full of suffering, but also joy.  I did lose some friends out of the experience, but other friendships were strengthened.  I learn a hard lesson every year.  This year's lesson was:

*You can't possibly know what someone else is going through.  You can sympathize but don't empathize, and don't judge!  Every experience is different not just for different people, but sometimes with the same person on different occasions.  Don't compare situations.  Just because you had a similar experience you can't know how the other person is feeling or what they are experiencing.  And if you've never had a similar experience keep your opinions to yourself!*

As for the last statement, I learned long ago that you don't know what you are capable of, or what you will do in a situation until you are in it.  If you love someone-be supportive.